Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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