If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sober January is a disaster.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
