Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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