It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
