There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We need to get me chipped asap
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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