Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
