Walk of Shame. In a state park.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
