The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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