so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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