did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
