just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
