We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
