remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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