so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
