Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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