Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
