i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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