In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
its liver damage thursday
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize