I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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