"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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