Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
