Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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