ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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