garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Randomize
