He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
