Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Terrible idea I love it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
