I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
