she was so not down for the gang bang
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize