i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
well you can't waste a boner
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
