he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I did not marry a roomba.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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