There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
