Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
