plz talk dirty to me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
