well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
