i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
