How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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