how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
