My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
