is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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