he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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