If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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