There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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