So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
