I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
