that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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