So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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