you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
