Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
