I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
