p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
