This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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