he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
