You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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