Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
