Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
