he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
